Do not read, it is going to hurt you more than me...

Another month flying by.

I feel like a broken record but it is almost eerie, how fast time is passing...

We are growing white hairs with it too, which is something I do not particularly enjoy. Let me keep my auburn a little longer, oh God of the depths!

Anyway, things are going fine, we camped a few weeks ago and it was quite good, we did a 12 km hike to a beautiful lake, got to eat some nice grilled meat and no bears to be seen, just some blue jays, squirrels and chipmunks...

The weather was perfect and the place had some folks here and there but, for the most part, it was secluded and quiet, just what you need to get away from work and universe woes.

We are finally set on doing a big move and buying a house... shudder.

Yup, it is now or never.

We are tired of wasting money renting and above all, tired of bad and cheap construction that gifts you with hearing your neighbours' cough... not to mention that our downstairs fella and his wife smoke. People that do not even bother to do it somewhere else but at the window, therefore, we cannot open ours most of the time...

Very pleasant!

The houses around here are impossible for anyone but the millionaire class to buy, which I would love to belong to, but, at the moment, still far from being.

An average small house fares around 500 thousand to a million dollars, and no, I am not joking, in the slightest.

It is the privilege of living in one of the most sought after places in the country.

There are some towns around here with more feasible prices, unfortunately, they are being bought as we speak.

We have been checking and found three pretty nice ones, 30 min from here that fit our parameters, so, we might not be far from moving, yet, once again.

Since I came here, 5 years ago, I have moved 4 times, it was all a lot of fun!

I am excited though, because I have never really owned anything or had something I could really decorate as I see fit.

Always had this dream of owning an old fashioned stone house, just like my parents have but with the comfort of not letting the cold in and having a proper plumbing system, always had to shower with spring water outside or wash my hair at the fountain, whether it was Summer or Winter, 28 years of my life, you get used to it.

One of these days, I need to write about all that fun white privilege stuff.

Anyway, as we do not want progeny, one room will be the library, which will finally be a proper place to put all the books we have and all my husband's collection items from WWII to occult paraphernalia.

The second room might be the office or the music room, my husband is a drummer but he usually plays in a warehouse unit because it is too loud to play in the house, so we might keep it that way.

This hypothetical place has to have two things, a fireplace, shocker, and a bit of land for me to garden and plant some tomatoes, potatoes and the likes.

My mother always says that having a bit of land is your gold, you will never die of hunger.

Work has been a little tumultuous. Summer is just hell for our line of business, it is insanely busy and I have had no vacation for over a year.

Having my European trip cancelled just made it more bleak.

This time it kind of boiled over a bit because there is this coworker that I, for the life of me, cannot relate to or like, of course, being professional, I endured the small talk, the constant being overworked because she is on the cellphone or just does the minimum and does not really care to help or prevent shit from happening by getting off of her butt and do things, I wish I could blame it on her age but she is older than me.

It so happens that she was never that professional with patients and it got to the point of several situations, where said patient had to pass to me or my manager because she gets into these dramas and has this arrogant, rude and argumentative attitude that does not sit well with any organisation, let alone a medical clinic.

Patients come to us with all sorts of serious issues, they are stressed, worried or frustrated, we are the ones that need to be patient, calm and rational and try to help not be another source of stress or conflict.

That is the word -conflict- that is exactly what I think she loves and is.

She had issues with the personnel at the front desk, to the point of me having to be the bridge when messages needed to be passed to either party.

And the medical personnel would also kind of avoid asking her to do this or that because they know she would not be that receptive as it is not on her scope of responsibilities...

I can gladly send a fax or sort shit out for them if I have the time, they are already so swamped and you know what is the best?

They help you too when you need their knowledge with certain situations as well.

I know, it seems like I am tooting my own horn by saying how bloody awesome I am, which is not the case, it is as simple as one hand washes the other, help to be helped, why complicate?

Anyway, there was another such situation where I witnessed her being unprofessional and rude and had to let her know that she needed to step up her game once and for all and that, she was being aggressive, rude and problematic with the patient and that I was not going to deal with it or fix it for her..

Oh boy, she hated it and got belligerent and said I could not talk to her like that and that I did not know the situation yada yada.

I simply replied that it is a situation that has been repeating quite a bit and it cannot possibly be always the other side's fault.

Mind you, this was not the first time I called her attention to this situation and the previous event was with my boss being there and me letting her know in front of her. So, clearly, she did not like it one bit.

She kept talking over me and I just said, listen we are swamped with work and you are just bringing all this unnecessary drama here, I do not want to listen to any of it anymore.

Was she outraged by me not wanting to hear her endless rants and poor me excuses... so she pointed her menacing finger at me and said that she might go to our manager or the boss to complain and I said, hey be my guest, last time I checked she was at her desk.

I was very surprised, a couple of days later to see her summoned to the manager's office for an unrelated issue she had with one of the medical assistants.

We could all just hear her moan, talk and even cry over and over and it was rather obvious that this was her ultimate passion play.

After an hour or so of me having to hold the fort by myself while she took another hour to go outside and meander, this person comes back with a haughty attitude and resumes her cellphone browsing.

We pretty much avoided all conversation, if ever was any, from then on.

Next week, after the soap-opera, my manager calls me to her office and closes the door and tells me that I need to be careful because so and so made a formal and written report to the chain of command accusing me of bullying her, I laughed of hate.

Are you fucking serious?

I have this very unprofessional person as my right arm in the back office and she sucks, most people avoid dealing with the situation, including higher ups that hear the shit she says to patients and I get scolded for pointing it out?

What a wonderful world.

Boss said that she was well aware but that this is the kind of situation that a person like her would take advantage to sue over.

I told my boss that this person is going to get me fired and she said no, you will never be fired but be careful with her, just do not speak to her when you see certain things happening just come to me instead...

Let us be honest, I am bloody Portuguese, a Celtic and Roman ensemble of genes, I cannot just see this shit and let it go.

But boy I have to. I am now just letting whatever she sees fit and plausible to be said to the patients and let the chain of command do their job.

More interesting things must have been happening since then because she is now fake wanting to help and being sugary sweet dealing with patients....

Oh would have thought?

My poor husband has to listen to me emptying my chest when I get home from work for the past two weeks because, you would not imagine how draining and frustrating it is, being scolded for being right and seeing lazy and entitled people get away with this kind of shit...

Which takes me to the state of the world these days, I avoid talking about it because who wants to put up with more bullshit?

However, who can avoid it these days?

I see it in the way my mother-in law and sister-in-law have been slowly alienating me and my husband's because of their political or brainwashing talks...

Listen, I do not care who you vote for, or if the TV told you that we are all evil and dying, why can't we talk about something else?

You know we do not agree with you and we want to talk about music, or food or camping but it ends up falling into that bottomless pit and it pains me to see how my husband is slowly just not caring much about them anymore.

It was always complicated, specially after my father-in-law died a couple of years ago.

Both of them were the alt guys, the arm bros, the behind the curtain kind of thinking, with him passing you have the other side taking over and him alone.

I feel bad because, as an outsider, I try to keep the peace going, it is not like we are pulling each others hairs, we are not Italians (that would be fun) but it is that awkward feeling, those silences and me feeling complicit because I crack jokes and do not further the, open your eyes and do not think you are rosier because you like the black man or the pantsuit woman, who the fuck cares?

Don't you see they are all part of the game, that this is all a big circus of divide and conquer?

I tell my husband that it is not worth it, just like a lot of the mainstream audience in this country and Europe they are too far gone and cannot even begin to understand the scope of the whole thing...

Next time, I should have let them know that he grabs them by the pussy because they let him because a lot of women, since the dawn of time, get married, sell their bodies or do favours in exchange of money.

That is why a 90% of the big business or sports men are married, money.

Female always looked for the bigger and stronger male to mate, in the human world that is reflected in who can provide the best house, car or who has the more money?

Are we all like that?

No, but there are a lot of them like this.

Men and women are greedy and dirty. It is the way of the world.

We are all damaged goods, do not think the other is better because he is black and purple lives matter most.

Is he crass? Yes but he is often right when the big media corporations do not cut his speech.

And that is what annoys me to no end, the blatant cut, trim and reshape of the news these days to fit a certain narrative, a narrative that further divide us.

Because they told you to hate him and because we cannot think by our own heads.

Do I like him or that side of the river?

I could not give two fucks about either but I much rather seem him in power, I agree with a lot of what he has said, with no funky edits for the mainstream society.

I agree with what he has been doing, much more than the previous, oh poor me and the poor blacks and the poor migrants but then lets drop them bombs on them kids and let everyone in because no human is illegal, as long as my pockets are full and I read the script and the lamestream media licks my balls...

No human is illegal....I always fancied that expression, I am a migrant myself, I came here and respected the whole process, the rules, paid the money, did it all.

You know why?

Because it is their house, their rules, this is not the 19th century, you cannot just enter and eat, you need control, you need rules, you need to know who is in and are they working or are they slacking, living off the system and bringing more drug and crime?

Just stay there then.

In Europe there was and probably still exists a big problem with mass migration from certain countries, with the guise of running from war torn countries.

They enter freely and live in camps in Greece until they set those camps on fire and get to cross to what they really want: Germany and Sweden.

Portugal housed quite a big number of them, the year after, when they wanted to do a bit of a check, more than half of them were gone because it was not a rich country with handouts that they could take advantage of.

Not going to the fact that most of the boats are full of 20s 30s men, you see no women or children...

That shames people like me, some of my family or friends that migrated to France, Luxembourg or Switzerland to work hard in construction or cleaning and earned an honest living...

They come and beg or put their children to beg or make more children to get checks from our taxes.

In the meantime they do not respect the country's rules, culture or its people and have nothing to offer.

Last time I was in Paris, my friend told me to be very careful of my purse and my surroundings because certain areas, not even the police would come if you called.

I certainly did not see French folks much, most languages spoken, let us just say, were not Latin derived.

Paris was pretty much a dump, full of graffiti, indigents, drugs, open trash sites and run down areas...

And the good folks of the politically correctness factions bend themselves backwards to not offend the poor souls and, to cater to their demands, let them cover themselves from head to toe or to beat their women and, this way, they keep supporting the further division.

I have a very good Russian friend from my college times and he used to tell me that some migrants in Moscow, Arabic, not sure if they were Muslims, would scream the word whore to Russian women in the streets because they were not covered.

The sweet warm feeling of multiculturalism...

The governments do not impose any rules, they fear them, these are foreigners, they should respect our rules and respect our way of living.

I have always said that if you do not like it, the door is on the left.

Countries should have never allowed the EU to tear down our borders and our national identities.

I miss my currency, our strong borders, our rich and diverse exportation industry and agriculture.

Now, we sold ourselves to the EU banks, to Brussels, we are full of debt and cannot tell them who we want in our country.

We have no industry or farmers because they pay us and give us subsidies to not produce, so we can be lifetime hostages of their banks and oligarchies.

It is like a big, cheap, old whore, just spreading her legs more and more while they rape us, throw acid into our faces and stab our chests. Let us not forget the Hebdo shooting...

Here it is different, folks have stronger cores and are very protective of their freedom.

They make fun of them, they call them rednecks with their guns on their shoulders but they do not play around with them because, unlike the Australian,s they did not surrender.

The men behind the curtain try and try, I see it every single day, with the white folks are bad, racist and should feel guilty of their past?

Guilty, why?

Because blacks sold their own to the slave trade? Because they got conquered?

I laugh, nations always conquered other nations, it is the nature of the beast.

The law of Nature, the survival of the fittest.

You are more powerful? You win, I lose, it happened with the Mayans, the Celts, the Ethiopians, even the Scots.

My own people were enslaved, rapped and pillaged and made to speak the Romans language.

We were white slaves.

The tribes in the Iberian peninsula were forced to speak Latin and to work for the Romans.

I am not even going down the path of what the Japanese did to the Koreans...

China, oh China.....no...

It is the way of the world, I am still astonished to how people want to cloud their judgement over this most basic thing?

Yes it is conquer or be conquered, it is the law of the plague, this is not a nice world, they say a prison, they say a school, they say we might ascend to a better one if we grow in spirit and understand but this whole idea of multiculturalism and we are all equal and can get along eating ice cream is horse shit and we all know it, you know why?

It never worked and never will because we are egotistical by nature.

It disgusts me how they even want to pay reparations to blacks because of their ancestors enslaving them?

Excuse me?

Are Stalin, Churchill or Hussein Obama's progeny paying to all the folks they got killed?

Give me a fucking break, is it hideous that we enslave each other?

Oh yes, we are animals, we will never change, we want an old clown that caresses and smells children's hair to be elected because Orange man bad.

We have sexual trading and human trafficking alive as much as ever because we are worried about our black neighbour being offended if we go out with Adele's hairdo, pardon the side note, but it is not a great hairstyle, either way.

Yeah, what about worrying about what happened to Seth Rich?

Lolita island?


Or Mr. Lieber, the chemistry department director at Harvard being arrested for working with that famous Wuhan lab that was also being funded by Mr. Grauci?

You know that lab that was studying corona viruses and how to mutate them???

Yeah, it is all there, research them, do not use google, use the duck.

Why don't we worry about these issues?

No, let us all open our legs and paint our faces black like the love-boy Trudeau to be fucked by the rioters and the Floyd lovers that still demand to steal your TV and some Adidas shoes because he was such an innocent soul, selling drugs, pointing a gun to a pregnant woman's belly and by being combative towards the cops and having more drugs in his system than Bayer on a Covid lottery day.

Certainly, that does not excuse the cop but do not make me cry for a junkie asshole criminal either.

Yeah I am fascist, racist, Nazi and all of those words you are thinking right now but you know what I truly am?

I am fucking fed up of all of your hypocritical asses with your apple phones and tracking devices up your butts posting on Instagram how much you can bend backwards to be ashamed of being white and of how much you hate that Trump hates illegals while locking your doors at night.

I love being white, I love my country and the one that housed me so well. I love my auburn hair, my Celtic heritage, I love that Portugal once owned half of the world and had conquered more nations than you can count.

I would be whiter if I could.

Give me a swastika.




Ok, I am done.